Accomplishing Your Goals #1: Failure Is Not Final

Today I’m continuing on a statement I made earlier this week in my post Focus On Your Goals #1: It’s A Brain Game. I wrote, “When you are pursuing a goal failing is not the hardest part of the process. The hardest part of the process is training your mind to stay focused on the goal, training your heart to have resolve, & training your spirit to know that a son can never fail. When the mind, heart, & spirit are intact defeat will never be known & victory is most assuredly yours.” We’re going to finish up this six part series in the next two posts by focusing on training your spirit to know that a son can never fail.

Now this may seem contrary to the statement I wrote in Focus On Your Goals #2: Staying On Track, “Failure is not an option, it is a reality.” In a short term sense this is true. However, in the ultimate sense, when you know that you are a son then failure is never final & it is never fatal. You are not a failure just because you fail. 

Growing up I played sports; I was good & I was confident. When reminiscing on my athletic experience there is one foundational component to my confidence that rises above the rest, the affirmation of my father, Chon F. Sevier. There were numerous games on the line where I needed a clutch hit, had to come in to pitch & close the game, or when I was down some points in a wrestling match & had a short time to come back. Most often than not I was successful during these times, but there were a couple of times I failed.

I remember one championship game in the all-stars where I was asked to come in to close a game & I blew a lead. Our team was eliminated & I was devastated. But, I remember my fathering coming alongside of me & telling me that he was so proud of me. I felt horrible for losing the game, but from that moment on I was no longer afraid to fail.

There was another time in my first year of wrestling when I was going up against a guy who was extremely good & had been wrestling for years. I was actually beating the guy & it would have been a huge upset, but I made a rookie mistake, he did a reverse, & he beat me by a couple of points. Again, I was devastated & my coach blew up on me, but my father pulled me aside & affirmed me in how proud he was of me, how great I did, & how much I was growing as a wrestler; that moment became a catalyst for me to work harder, reach higher, & pursue greater things.

Those moments have been forever burned into my heart, mind, emotions, & spirit. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about me or how many times I seem to fail, my father is proud of me. These experiences of failure have become a springboard of growth, learning, & confidence. A true father will never give up on his son or daughter & his son or daughter will never be seen as a failure in the eyes of his or her father. If this is true naturally, how much more spiritually?

Let’s Do This Together:

How has the affirmation of your father or lack of affected your pursuit of your goals? Where in your life have you felt like a failure, how have you responded?

Grown Men Wanted

Marriage is one of the most powerful things that exists in this world. It is also one of the most mysterious. It reveals things in you for both the better and the worst. After being married for 2 ½ years I have been confronted with my own immaturity,  selfishness, unwillingness to sacrifice, & the little boy in me that wants his needs met before he does anything for anybody. Marriage has shown me how much growing as a man I need; there are too many little boys trying to wear grown man pants.

Over the last couple months I have been challenged by God to become a husband who is a grown man. Grown man? That’s such a mystery in our culture. What makes a grown man? When does a man become grown? Does being married make me a grown man?

Grown men are needed more than ever in our day & age. We need them to be husbands, fathers, friends, & leaders. A man is not a grown man because of age, title, offspring, job, resources, or physical strength. A man is a grown man when he can model the life of Jesus Christ to all around Him.

When the selflessness of Christ overtakes a man he enters into a deeper revelation of manhood. When the unconditional love of Jesus flows from a man then he takes a step into manhood. When the sense of responsibility that Jesus has for His church fills a man for his family, friends, wife, & kids then a man begins tasting manhood. Being a grown man is not an age thing, it is a heart thing, mind thing, emotional thing, spiritual thing, & living thing.

Grown men don’t seek to have their needs met by the people around them before they seek to meet those peoples’ needs. A grown man knows how to go to the Father on behalf of his friends, family, wife, kids, church, & community. He takes responsibility to provide for his family emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, & resourcefully, the way God takes responsibility in providing for His children. And, a grown man knows how to secure those around him, affirming them, calling out destiny in them, standing when they can’t, & declaring over them who they are even when they don’t see it.

I have heard many lament because they don’t believe there are many models out there for them. Or, they lament because maybe they have seen a man model what it means to be a good worker, but not a good husband or father. Grown manhood pervades every area of life & just because you haven’t seen it modeled right before you does not mean you are not responsible to set a new pattern for those following you. You want to see a grown man, look at Jesus & the way He interacts with His church; that is grown man status. Let Him be your model.

Let’s Do This Together:

Men – How have you been challenge to mature into manhood in the last month? What do you think has hindered you from maturing in the past?

Women – How would your life be different if the men around you where to live as grown men?

When You Shouldn't Have Been Born

My life is good. 28 years ago today God allowed me to take my first fresh breath of His air. Doctors told my mom numerous times that she should abort me because it would be dangerous to have me. She was constantly sick while I was in her womb. There were tons of complications. They even told her that both she & I could die if she went through with the pregnancy.

According to doctors & according to the enemy I was not supposed to be born. But how many of you know that God loves a challenge? What is “not supposed to be” in the world is no match for God’s “I purposed it.”

As I reflect on the last 28 years of my life there have three truths that have been pillars for me: God is in control, He is good, & He loves me. The prophet Isaiah tells us of Jesus that, “To the increase of his government & peace there will be no end,” (Isaiah 9:6). God really is in control; there is nothing that can happen outside of His governance. It doesn’t matter how things seem to look, there is no power, authority, dominion or government that is above Jesus rule.

Therefore, I may not always understand what I am going through. I may not always understand why I am going through it. The situations may be hard & the circumstances may even be hurtful, but God will ultimately work it for my good (Romans 8:28). His thoughts & plans for me are always good (Jeremiah 29:11). Even the things the enemy means for evil, God can & will turn it out for my good (Genesis 50:20). He has the power to work it for my good & He wants to work it for my good!

Finally, I can trust that God will work things out for my good, not just because He is in control & He is good, but because He loves me. How great is the love that God has lavished on me that He calls me a son? (1 John 3:1). He loved me enough to send His Son Jesus on the cross for me (John 3:16). This is something that my natural father, Chon F. Sevier, has helped me to understand so much. The love of a father is unconditional, sacrificial, selfless, affirming, & never ending. God’s love for me never fails.

A life that was not ‘supposed’ to happen has happened & it is making things happen in this world. My life is good & so is yours. No matter where you are at in your life today God can work it out for good if you will look to Him. He loves you, wants to work for your good, & He has the power to do it.

If you still don’t believe me, check out this video below about Nick Vujicic (http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org). A man with no arms & no feet; who, according to the world was not ‘supposed’ to have a good life. He believed different…

Rick Warren & Nick Vujicic on Oprah Winfrey’s “Life Class” - Click Here to See VIDEO

Happy birthday to me :)

Let’s Do This Together:

What is one specific way your life would be different if you truly believed God was in control, He wants to work for your good, & He loves you?

Pursuing Your Goals #2: When You Don't Feel It

In order to develop resolve in your heart you have to begin to change some deeply impressed emotional & mental patterns that have previously dictated your life. Whatever you have allowed to become a pattern in your life has also become an expectation. When the going gets tough & your thoughts have caused you to feel like you need to quick, whatever you have consistently done in those situations has directly or indirectly become an expectation for your life. Your thoughts will always trigger your emotions & when you allow your emotions to dictate where you are going to go, you most often get into trouble; children are led by their emotions, not mature adults.

Jeremiah, the Old Testament prophet, tells us that “the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). The reality is that our emotions often lie to us. As a result, we sell ourselves short because we don’t feel like we can continue. We submit to our emotions & they become our masters. The minute you don’t do something because you don’t feel like it, even though you know you need to do it, you have allowed your emotions to become your master.

When you set your mind to waking up, the alarm clock goes off, & your eyes fight to open, the first things that you say to yourself is, “I don’t feel like getting up.” You think you don’t want to get up & you feel like you don’t want to get up. Most often people stop there. That is the time to push. Do what you need to do because you have resolved to do it. When you don’t feel it, do it anyway!

If you live only by your initial feelings you will never accomplish the dreams & goals God has placed in your heart. If first place Olympic runners stopped whenever they ‘felt’ tired they would never cross the finish line. If world renowned authors stopped whenever their hands ‘felt’ weak they would never have finished a book. If Nelson Mandela would have given up his fight for equality when he ‘felt’ fear then his people would still be polarized. If Jesus quit when he ‘felt’ pain & rejection humanity would still be lost. You have to train your heart to have resolve.

You have to learn how to “set your heart on things above,” (Colossians 3:1); this means you have to make an intentional choice to choose against your emotions at times. You have to train your heart to have resolve by constantly reminding yourself of the goals & plans that God has placed before you. You have to learn to speak to your heart & say, “I know you are feeling like quitting, but there is no turning back,” or “I know you are feeling left out because you can’t go out with everyone right now since you’re on a budget, but you have determined to be debt free! No turning back.”

When pursuing your goals, resolve must be the position of your heart. Without a heart of resolve you will continually fall into the old patterns, ways of thinking, & emotional pits that have kept you where you are up to this point. It is time to train your heart to have resolve.

Let’s Do This Together:

In what one area have you allowed an old emotional pattern to become an expectation for your life? What is one specific way to train your heart to have resolve in order to combat that old pattern?

Pursuing Your Goals #1: Training Your Heart

I started this series with the statement, “When you are pursuing a goal failing is not the hardest part of the process. The hardest part of the process is training your mind to stay focused on the goal, training your heart to have resolve, & training your spirit to know that a son can never fail. When the mind, heart, & spirit are intact defeat will never be known & victory is most assuredly yours.” Today we’re going to look at the heart.

One awesome thing about motivational speakers, coaches, teachers, & leaders is that they know how to get your blood boiling; they are movers, movers of things & people. It is there job to learn how to train the heart of a person. That’s right, train the heart.

When we think about pursuing goals & moving forward in a certain direction we don’t often take into account the magnitude of the heart’s affect on the pursuit. Your heart is the seat of your emotions, affections, passions, & desires. And, as you begin to pursue things you have never pursued it is absolutely necessary to have a heart that has resolve. However, resolve in your heart does not just happen; you must train your heart to have resolve.

Resolve is an unwavering determination; resolve says, “I’ve made my decision & I refuse to change it!” When we start something new it is very easy to feel emotionally excited about it. Our hearts are exuberant. We can see the possibility of a new way of life, we can see more money in our bank account, we can see our bodies looking different, or we can see ourselves in that job we always wanted.

However, when our feet hit the hard cold pavement of the road that leads us there & reality sets in, all of the sudden we’re not so excited anymore. When the alarm clock goes off in the morning, “what happened to all that joy?” When I have to sacrifice not going out with friends over & over so I could save money, “what happened to all that excitement?” When I have to actually plan out a schedule for my day, manage my time, & make hard decisions, “what happen to all those warm feelings that came when I thought about a new way of life?”

 

Resolve confronts those emotions in the greatest sense. When emotions say, “I don’t feel like getting up.” Resolve answers, “I don’t care what you feel like. You are going to do it because you need it.” When emotions say, “I really feel like yelling at this person.” Resolve answers, “You will control yourself because you’re only going to cause more hurt & create greater distance. Remember, you said you want to be closer to this person.” When emotions say, “I feel like this is too hard.” Resolve answers, “It is hard, it won’t be easy, it does hurt, but the way you were living before is only going to keep you where you’re at. No turning back!”

Let’s Do This Together:

What goals have you been excited about pursuing this year, but when you started moving towards them feelings seemed to say the opposite? How have you responded?

Focus On Your Goals#2: Staying On Track

As I shared in the previous blog, when you are pursuing a goal failing is not the hardest part of the process. The hardest part of the process is training your mind to stay focused on the goal… As you learn to train your mind you are going to be confronted with wandering thoughts, distractions, discouragement, old thought patterns,  & negative ways of thinking. However, you have a choice of how you respond to these things!

If you find your mind falling prey to these wanderings & have thoughts like, “This is how I have always thought,” don’t get discouraged. Your mind CAN be renewed & refocused. That is why Paul encourages his readers to “be transformed by the renewing of their mind,” (Romans 12:2).

Renewing means starting again; to make like new. When you start towards a goal, but get deterred, start again! Seems simple right, seems like common sense right? Well, it really isn’t common because most people, when they get stuck in a mental rut or get derailed, believe the lie that they can’t get back on track. But, YOU CAN!

It is at the point of derailment that most people say, “I’m just a failure. Every time I start towards the goal I fail & I’m tired of feeling like a failure.” I’m sure you have heard the inspirational quote, “Failure is not an option.” Let me just keep it real, failure is not an option, it is a reality! The reality is that as you are doing things you have never done, thinking ways you have never thought, & pursuing things you have never pursued, failure is part of the process. But, just because you fail does not make you a failure! You need to learn how to see failure as a stepping stone, building block, &  teacher. 

It’s your greatest failures that can often lead you to your greatest successes.

If you fail, get back up! It’s time to “prepare your mind for action,” (1 Peter 1:13). No more excuse about how you can’t think different. This is a flat out lie & victim mentality. You have to train your mind with the truth, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

Many are waiting for Jesus to come down with a mystical wand & endow them with strength by striking them with the wand. Wake up call, He gave you the strength the minute you received Him into your life & were filled with His Spirit. No more waiting for more power to think different, you have the power. Start today! And, no more allowing the fear of failure to hold you back! Whether it is starting a new business, getting in shape, being a better spouse, doing your homework, or growing in your relationship with God; it’s time to train your mind to stay focused on the goals set before you.

Let’s Do This Together:

Take a moment to share some of the thoughts that can distract, derail, or discourage you & some of the failures that have kept you from moving forward? What are you doing to confront these ways of thinking &  getting back on track?

Focus On Your Goals #1: It’s a Brain Game

When you are pursuing a goal failing is not the hardest part of the process. The hardest part of the process is training your mind to stay focused on the goal, training your heart to have resolve, & training your spirit to know that a son can never fail. When the mind, heart, & spirit are intact defeat will never be known & victory is most assuredly yours. Let’s talk about the mind for a second.

Your mind is either your greatest asset or enemy. It has been said by Navy Seals that the average human being only uses 20% of his or her body capacity because as soon as the person’s mind tells him or her it is time to stop the person usually stops. When you are pushing past a physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual barrier, it will hurt! This is natural. But just because it hurts does not mean you don’t have the capacity to go farther. You’ve heard the mantra, “No pain, no gain!”

When you’re pursuing a goal you have to keep the end result in mind. If you are doing something you never done you will, at least at one point in the process, want to quit. However, the desire to quit is not quitting! Choosing to allow yourself to be mentally taken out of the game is quitting because your emotions & body will follow your thoughts. Sometimes you need to talk back to your mind & say, “Shut up! You’re going to think what I command you to think & my body is going to do what I command it to do!”

Have you ever felt powerless to change your thoughts? Most often people feel as if they cannot control their thoughts; they feel that whatever thoughts come in their minds they have to just accept them. Let me encourage you, you are not powerless to change your thoughts. You don’t need to accept everything that finds its way into your mind.

Paul tells Christians to, “Set your heart on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things” (Colossians 3:1-2). We have to learn how to intentionally set our mind on the right things. Why? Because our mind wanders, gets distracted, & can be easily deterred.

What are some thoughts that have kept you from focusing on your goals or have knocked you off track?

Please take a moment to share & let’s walk this journey together. We’re going to pursue great things this year & not settle for anything less.

Thank God It's Friday

Thank God it’s Friday! You feel me? It’s so easy to go into our Fridays excited about the weekend, exuberant that the week is over, but already dreading Monday. As a result, it leads us to go into our Friday half-hearted. You know the kind of thoughts that could flow through your mind, “I’m just going to do what I got to do today to get by… I need my energy for this weekend… It’s Friday, I’m not working hard… I gave it my all the last four days, I’m clocking out early & they better not saying anything about it.” Anybody? Or, is it just me that has had these crazy thoughts?

Today, choose to make your Friday great. It is not how you start, it is how you finish! I’m sure you’re familiar with the story of the Tortoise & the Hare (Turtle & Rabbit). Starting strong is only the first step, it is finishing strong that matters. You don’t work hard because you are trying to please somebody. You don’t work hard because you need to prove anything to anybody. And, you don’t work hard because you are trying to become somebody. You work hard & give your best because that is who you are, no matter where you are, no matter who is around you, & no matter what you are doing.

How are you going to make your Friday great? How are you going to add value to the lives of your family, co-workers, or employer? You may be saying, “Well they never add value to my life! They didn’t do anything for me this week.” Perhaps what you are saying is true, but that is not the point. Who you are is not based upon what others have or have not done. You are setting a standard of value for your life & choosing to add value to the lives of others, regardless if they deserve it or not.

So I ask again, how are you going to make your Friday great? What is one thing that you could do today to finish strong? What is one thing that you could do today to add value to the life of someone else?

Please take a moment to share. I would love to hear your thoughts about how you are going to make your Friday great, finish strong, & add value to the life of someone around you. 

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. 

It is the Lord Christ you are serving." 

(Colossians 2:23-24)

Make Yourself Indispensable

As a worker, never settle for just doing what is required of you, be a builder. Constantly think about how you can make your job better, how you can grow it, & how you can multiply it far beyond what it could be. Add value to what you do.

Your boss should have no question of why you should stay on the team. Your boss should cringe at the thought of having to let you go. When you’re a builder your boss will see you as an INDISPENSABLE asset to the organization. 

Start today by thinking of 3 ways you can add value to your organization & then do them.

Excuses Are Killing You

As a coach & leader I hate nothing more than hearing excuses. However, I have notice I seem to hate it when others make excuses, but when it comes to making change in my life excuses are often the first things that float through my mind & shoot out my mouth. Why? Because it’s always easier to see what needs to change in others lives than it is seeing what needs to change in my life. Or, I KNOW the changes that I should make if I want to live better in my life, but I really don’t BELIEVE that I need to change in order to live better – knowing truth & believing truth are two very different things.

It is often not until you recognize that your excuses are killing you that you get sick & tired of being sick & tired. You need to stop taking it on the chin & punch back! It’s actually quite simple. If you want to lose weight & build muscle you need to eat right & exercise. If you want to get out of debt you need to work hard & stop borrowing money. God has made some things very simple, but sometimes we refuse to prosper because of one little word, "CONVENIENCE." 

It’s time to kick CONVENIENCE in the face & refuse to remain where you are! It's time to stop trying to live EASY & start living RIGHT.

Whether it is a failing relationship, towering debt, unhealthy eating habits, self-destructive behaviors, unforgiveness, or detrimental thinking, until you are willing to exchange your excuses for truth you will remain where you are. Until you are willing to exchange your convenience for right living you will remain where you are. If you want to start living right then you need to start acting right. If you want to start acting right then you need to start speaking right. If you want to start speaking right then you need to start thinking right. And, if you want to start thinking right you need to start believing right – you need to change, believe it or not!

It’s simple, but simple is not always easy.

If it were then more people would live better, more people would live right. Right living is not complicated, but it can be difficult. Stop settling for the easy. If you are not willing to be inconvenienced then you are choosing to remain where you are, no matter what you say & no matter how good your intentions!

With all the love in my heart I say, stop making excuses & grow up! You're either going to live different, change yourself, & change the world or you're going to drown yourself in the puddles of mediocrity & petty rationalizations. You choose, but just know that you chose.

Believing, thinking, speaking, acting, & living different doesn’t just happen. It takes time, effort, sacrifice, & training. You have heard of physical training, now it’s time to learn to soul train. Get the internal right & the external cannot help but follow.

It’s time to stop letting excuses kill you & start truly living. If you’re looking for a way to change your thinking & help you break the shackles of excuses I highly recommend this new devotional from Pastor Benjamin Robinson, “Through The Mighty Waters: A Personal Trainer For The Soul.” Start with your soul, the rest will follow.

For information on the book check out the links below (available on Amazon & Google for under $3):

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AUC8KK0 (Amazon)

http://books.google.com/books?printsec=frontcover&id=3XzOT3KkJ9kC#v=onepage&q&f=false(Google)