Attention: You Have A Spouse, Did You Forget?

Honestly, I can’t tell you how many times I have hurt my wife because I have not given her the attention she is worth. Trust me, I don’t say this as a good thing, but as a confession of long desired growth. Your spouse is one of the greatest gifts from God that you will ever know or experience; do you treat him or her that way?

It is so easy to get preoccupied with the things of life that we forget the one we at one time could not live without. You know how it is right? When you get all excited about a new iphone, hobby, show, or even job & you are giving more attention to that thing than your spouse.

If we were to be honest this happens most often in the small things. If we were to look at our lives we would in no way think that we are giving more attention to TV, shopping, or sports than our spouse. But, how about in the little day to day things?

I’m sure this never happens to any of you, but I’m starting to punch myself every time my wife says, “Babe, can you look up at me from that computer?” Or, “How you going to just walk right pass me when you first come home?” The neglect happens when you get ready for bed & before your wife could say, “Goodnight,” you are already drooling on your pillow. It happens when your husband wants to share something exciting about his day, but you’re too ‘busy’ watching a show. The neglect happens in the small things & those small things add up.

Now before you write off your spouse for just being needy or before you shame yourself to death, know that both you & your spouse are worth attention & you can give it. Every fruitful relationship takes intentional care, effort, time, & attention. You can have a great marriage, where you both know you’re valued & loved. If you want a better marriage you can choose to make time for your spouse & give her or him the attention she or he is worth.

Here are some quick tips for giving your spouse 

the attention he or she is worth:

1.      When your spouse walks in the room after work stop what you are doing & loving greet her.

2.      When your spouse wakes up in the morning give her a kiss & tell her how thankful you are to have her.

3.      When your spouse does something you ask immediately acknowledge it with a loving thank you.

4.      Plan to have at least 10 -15 minutes to talk before you go to bed.

5.      If you are on the phone with a friend & your spouse asks to speak with you tell your friend you will call him back & talk with your spouse.

6.      Look up from the computer when your spouse walks in the room; your work, facebook, or email can wait.

7.      Plan something weekly that you two do together for at least 30 minutes with no distractions.

Let’s Do This Together

What neglect traps do you seem to fall prey too?  What is one specific way that you can show your spouse more attention this week? How would your marriage be different if you gave more attention to your spouse?