The Poison of Unforgiveness

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison & expecting the other person to die.

There is no relationship that can fully flourish, thrive or even survive without forgiveness. When you are in a close relationship it is inevitable that hurt will occur, the question is how you will respond to the hurt. Is forgiveness a cornerstone in the foundation of your marriage, relationships, or friendships?

Let’s just be real, giving forgiveness is not always an easy thing. But, what most people don’t realize is forgiveness is not just about letting someone off the hook, it is often more for you than for that person. Even psychologists have argued that people who hold on to unforgiveness, bitterness, hurt, or anger tend to have more physical ills such as: tense muscles, headaches, stomach issues, etc. than those who are not harboring unforgiveness in relationships.

My wife & I hurt each other quite often. We don’t hurt each other because we hate each other or because we are trying to destroy each other’s lives. However, we are completely vulnerable to one another, susceptible to hurt because we have opened our lives & hearts to one another. This opens the door for deeper love & deeper hurt. Yet, there is safety. Since we have determined to forgive one another no matter what there is vulnerability with security. There is a conscious decision to lovingly work out whatever mess we allow ourselves to get into.

Forgiveness is a choice.

In your relationships you have to realize that you must consistently choose to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice to act out of selfless love knowing that, “love keeps no record of wrongs,” (1 Corinthians 13:5). And, the choice to forgive is made with the full understanding that it is completely undeserved. Forgiveness does not say what you did is okay or doesn’t matter, but it says in spite of what you did I still choose to love.

Forgiveness does not excuse the wrong done, it loves in spite of it. This is the type of love & forgiveness that Jesus modeled while hanging on the cross & speaking, “Father, forgive them because they do not know what they are doing,” (Luke 23:34); completely underserved & not even asked for! In our relationships we are called to enter into Jesus’ heart to forgive. Don’t allow unforgiveness to poison you or your relationships any longer; enter into God’s heart for your relationships & walk in the freedom of forgiveness!

Let’s Do This Together

How have you seen unforgiveness ruin a relationship? In what relationships do you need to allow yourself to enter into God’s heart of forgiveness?