Have you ever woke up one morning & while laying next
to your spouse you asked yourself, “Who is this person?” The person you were
laying next too didn’t seem to match the person you exchanged vows with, she or
he was so different? This is not always a bad thing. With every experience, job
promotion, job loss, baby, life transition, book read, new friendship, &
new year change occurs.
Every new day brings about some type of change in you & your spouse, either for the better or worse. The question are not, “What happened to
my spouse?” or “Why did my spouse change?” The question is, “How did my spouse
change?”
More often than not, you & your spouse go through changes in your
personal lives without you even recognizing it, reflecting on it, or talking
about it. Then after a long period of time when the changes have become undeniable
& it seems as if you have drifted apart in certain areas you ask, “Who is
this person?”
You & your spouse will change, it is undeniable. But,
will you change for the better? And, will you change together? To grow together
in your marriage you must be intentional to walk together through the
individual changes you both experience. What one spouse goes through will
directly & indirectly impact the other; you are one.
Your marriage is meant to be like a living organism;
living organisms grow, develop, & mature. As you move forward in your
marriage be intentional to grow, develop, & mature together. Be willing to
take time to reflect on your days, weeks, months, & years together. And
after you reflect, share how you both have grown from them. Don’t wait until
the changes are so visible that they disrupt your lives, begin the daily walk
of change together today.
Let’s Do This Together
Have you ever felt alienated from your spouse because of
changes he, she, or you have experienced? How can you be intentional about
recognizing, reflecting, & talking with your spouse about changes you both experience?
Great post!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Ashley, so glad that it encouraged you. Being married is such a wild & exciting ride. The more we invest in our marriages & are willing to grow together the more awesome it becomes! Those who find marriage to be stale are those who are unwilling to pour into their marriage. But, yall are legit!
DeleteI'm so excited for your new bundle of joy, keep me posted on updates. We would love to get together soon!
This is a fantastic post. I'm soooo blessed to have a wife that is as amazing in my eyes today as she was the first day I met her. Anytime I've felt alienated from her, it was situational (she said something that hurt, did something bizarre, had an idea that was foreign, etc.).
ReplyDeleteNo, she isn't the exact same person I met nine years ago, but that's only because her life was different nine years ago. And, God's shown so much mercy in not allowing changes in our lives (choices, calling, preferences, relocation, etc.) to pull us apart. But, while God's mercy endures forever, we must also be mindful to be more proactive in really digesting those changes. I'd never really considered that until reading your post. Thanks.
Christopher, it is awesome to hear you speak about your wife. It is so real about how often our feelings of alienation arise from situation, not heart position. If we could teach our hearts to rest positionally in our spouse's love it would be empower us to not allow situation to determine our feelings.
DeleteYou are so right, we have to be more proactive about reflecting on & digesting the changes we experience individually & as a couple. Being proactive together allows us to grow together intentionally. Such good thoughts bro!