It's About How You Say It: Developing A Skillful Tongue

Has someone ever said something to you that you know was beneficial, but said it in a way that made you feel repulsed?

It's not always about what you say, it's about how you say it. You could say the most positive thing, but said with the wrong tone it could be taken extremely offensively.

However, someone could say something that cuts to your heart, but because of his delivery you did not feel a slight bit of pain as his words surgically removed from your heart what needed to be removed. The difference is a skillful tongue. 

Solomon tells us, "A gentle answer turns away harsh wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger," (Proverbs 15:11). You have the power to calm the greatest emotional swell or ignite the greatest emotional fire imaginable by your words and responses. 

Have you ever said something to someone and meant it to be a good thing, but it came out horribly? Then you stepped back and thought, "What the heck just happened? I was trying to encourage her." The reason is because the delivery is just as important as the package. 

Think about it. When Christmas comes what type of present would you rather open, one that is nicely packaged with colorful paper and a bow or one that is taped together with raggedy old newspaper? We're not talking about content here, we're talking about presentation. Even if the content of the present with the raggedy newspaper is amazingly better than the content of the nicely wrapped one, your instinct is to go with the nicely wrapped one. It's the same with what you say and how you wrap it.

It's a tragedy to have such great things to say, but deliver it in a way where no one wants to open it. 

Take a moment to reflect on your relationships, leadership, and your conversations. How do you wrap your gifts? Do you take time to think through how you are going to deliver your all important package? 

In your speaking and your responses, take some time to be intentional about how you say what you say. Allow your tongue to become like a skillful writer, a builder, and a calmer of storms.