January 19, 2013

Accomplishing Your Goals #1: Failure Is Not Final

Today I’m continuing on a statement I made earlier this week in my post Focus On Your Goals #1: It’s A Brain Game. I wrote, “When you are pursuing a goal failing is not the hardest part of the process. The hardest part of the process is training your mind to stay focused on the goal, training your heart to have resolve, & training your spirit to know that a son can never fail. When the mind, heart, & spirit are intact defeat will never be known & victory is most assuredly yours.” We’re going to finish up this six part series in the next two posts by focusing on training your spirit to know that a son can never fail.

Now this may seem contrary to the statement I wrote in Focus On Your Goals #2: Staying On Track, “Failure is not an option, it is a reality.” In a short term sense this is true. However, in the ultimate sense, when you know that you are a son then failure is never final & it is never fatal. You are not a failure just because you fail. 

Growing up I played sports; I was good & I was confident. When reminiscing on my athletic experience there is one foundational component to my confidence that rises above the rest, the affirmation of my father, Chon F. Sevier. There were numerous games on the line where I needed a clutch hit, had to come in to pitch & close the game, or when I was down some points in a wrestling match & had a short time to come back. Most often than not I was successful during these times, but there were a couple of times I failed.

I remember one championship game in the all-stars where I was asked to come in to close a game & I blew a lead. Our team was eliminated & I was devastated. But, I remember my fathering coming alongside of me & telling me that he was so proud of me. I felt horrible for losing the game, but from that moment on I was no longer afraid to fail.

There was another time in my first year of wrestling when I was going up against a guy who was extremely good & had been wrestling for years. I was actually beating the guy & it would have been a huge upset, but I made a rookie mistake, he did a reverse, & he beat me by a couple of points. Again, I was devastated & my coach blew up on me, but my father pulled me aside & affirmed me in how proud he was of me, how great I did, & how much I was growing as a wrestler; that moment became a catalyst for me to work harder, reach higher, & pursue greater things.

Those moments have been forever burned into my heart, mind, emotions, & spirit. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about me or how many times I seem to fail, my father is proud of me. These experiences of failure have become a springboard of growth, learning, & confidence. A true father will never give up on his son or daughter & his son or daughter will never be seen as a failure in the eyes of his or her father. If this is true naturally, how much more spiritually?

Let’s Do This Together:
How has the affirmation of your father or lack of affected your pursuit of your goals? Where in your life have you felt like a failure, how have you responded?


  1. Amazing PJ!!!

    Well in the first 17yrs of my life I was without the love of my father. He never called to say hi or to see how I was. Life was tough. My mom worked 2-3 jobs at a time. So I basically stepped into the mom role with my two brothers (one was two years older than me & the other is three years younger than me. I never had approval or love from my dad. Even to this day he doesn't respect me. I pray for him & have forgiven him. By the time I turned 18yrs old I had my own place worked & went to school full-time. My mom taught me Jesus loved me!!! Wow!! My life totally is different now. I began to find my affirmation in my heavenly father (Abba Daddy is what call God). I began to hide the word in my heart. I realized I'm not a reject just because my earthly father never wanted me. I'm the beloved of Father God!!! Now I have one hot, amazing, wise, godly husband & six of the most beautiful children... my kids are so wise... Lead by Father God.. They always (daily) have a timely word for me. I'm a full-time student. Apart one amazing Church. I can look back at my past & smile & feel gratitude that I am the strong godly women Abba Daddy created me to be.

  2. You are blessed to have not just your earthly father giving you a positive affirmation, but also the affirmation of your heavenly father. You are doing great with your blog.
    I never had a word of affirmation from my biological father. All I have, is pictures. I saw my father the last five days of his life. He was not the same man from the pictures. He was older. I saw my father weep of sadness. I saw my father so vulnerable, that all those years that I wish he was there for me, suddenly disappeared. I will never hear a word of affirmation from the lips of my father. But I have heard them from my heavenly father, telling me how proud he was that I was there for my earthly father the last days of his life. It was a bittersweet time for me, but I'm holding to the hope that I will see my father again in heaven.